Your love is better.

I will choose the good part.
Just to sit at Your feet.

~That I may know You~

To get as close as this heart will allow.
That I might be found worthy.
Of love...





[and i will not count the costs]

Papa.

My Daddy loves me.

He desires me more than I could ever desire Him.


Papa can not wait to wrap His big arms around His little girl, pick her up and spin her round and round. That day He is eagerly awaiting. The day when every veil is torn and face-to-face gets a whole new meaning.

His heart longs for the day when He can give me a new name. A new song He will sing over me, affirming me like it was the first time.

Oh, I can not wait....


and He is forever beeb awaiting, HE ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT WAIT.



That is truth--the Creator of everything is excited about meeting finite Tayla.
His whole being literally freaks out when the human heart acknowledges His existence.
The Father, the beautiful Son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit DANCE over human beings--they LOVE the human heart in all its wickedness when it moves toward them!

So just look up little children.
Papa is looking down--right into your heart.

And He is smiling.

Lovesick.

I literally thought I was dying tonight. Then I realized what was going on...I was hungry.

Just when you think you know Jesus and become satisfied in His love, He stirs up a deeper hunger within to prove there is more. More than we could ever imagine, so much more that it is going to take all of eternity to tap into its fullness. So for now, here on earth, living in the mundane, we are left lovesick. 

To be lovesick is to starve for love in such a way that it causes you to experience hunger pains. 

This kind of desperation is proof that you have been touched by God. I have experienced His love and affections toward me to such a degree that when the encounter is over...I am left in pure agony. My spirit cries "Sustain me, refresh me, for I am lovesick!" (Song of Songs 2:5) 

I NEED MORE! 

I must have more of this love. I can not live outside of this love anymore. I have tasted the goodness of the Lord, and nothing else will ever truly satisfied. I am ruined.

His love IS BETTER than wine [the most sensible pleasures of the world]!

So, Beloved--here my cry for more. Feed me once again under the apple tree. I cannot go back to life as I know it. Feed my heart like You do, tell me the truth one more time. Tell me who I am to You, I desire Your heart. Draw me away, speak tenderly to Your bride. 

Let me come up leaning. 

I am nothing.

TRUTH: Apart from Him, I am nothing.

The Lord is revealing Himself to me more and more everyday. And the more I come to know Him, the more I realize how much I really do need Him. He is what makes me great!

 

And it is simply not about me anymore. 

"so I'll stand 

with arms high

and heart abandoned"

Take what is rightfully Yours Jesus. Take my heart...

Reality.

When you spend up to eight hours a day in the prayer room, you begin to find out who really are. And I'm not talking about who you may be to the world or through the eyes of man, but being understood and FULLY KNOWN by God. The uncreated God, the Eternal One, the God of the Universe. The Lord of Lords and the King of Kings begins to show you a picture of your heart. He, for what feels like the first time reveals what you look like through His fiery eyes of love and desire.

Here is sort of a skit of how most of my conversations with the Lord have gone so far(after spending time in His presence):
Me: "Wait a second Lord, You who created everything in its splendor...the sun, the moon, the stars, the mountains, waterfalls, and canyons...scans the earth and is instantly drawn to the heart of man. Seriously?"

God: "Yes!"

Me: "But God, really...come on, You made EVERYTHING! So You are telling me You are caught off guard, overtaken, and ravished at the weak heart of man?"

God: "Yes!"

Me: "Well You did create us for Your own pleasure, but we have fallen so short. You are STILL captivated at our attempt to love You with our whole heart? Be completely honest, I want to know the truth!"

God: "Ok Tayla, you want to know the truth. Well here is it...I, the God of EVERYTHING, the Holy of Holies, the All-Knowing One, the Father of all, I am madly in love with you. All I have to do is hear your voice and I am overwhelmed. You are the work of My hands. I am unbelievably overtaken by your weak response to My great love. Just believe it. Walk in My love daughter. How many times must I tell you...if it takes Me reminding you daily, even hourly, I will. Because My heart is ravished by yours, and how I long for you to believe this truth of who I am. I love you. I am married to you. I will never divorce you. I can not be disappointed in you. Just give me what you have, give me your heart...and I am undone."


So, this is where I am at right now.

The Lord is literally breaking me in two with this ridiculous love. He knows I am weak, thats why He remains strong. He remains steady in His pursuit of man. Every time I come close to running away in my shame and unbelief, He chases me down like a daddy runs after his little girl. Every time I hide my face, He declares over me "Return to Me, for I am married to you!" He reminds me of His unfailing love and commitment to my heart. He is not one to abandon the work of His hands.
HE WILL FINISH WHAT HE STARTED.

Yah! Thank you Father of Glory! Unto You be ALL the praise!